Feeling a little guilty

Today was an okay day. My back is hurting like crazy. Every night when I get home it always hurts no matter what I do. I cannot wait until Miss. Ellie gets here. I really don't like being pregnant. Other than that it was a good day. School was rather painless, however for some reason I wanted to leave asap. I don't usually watch the clock so much but today I was ready to go. I don't have any IEP meetings this week (well ones that I am in charge of, I still have to attend some) so that makes it a little less stressful. I am nervous about a test that Mel and I have to take this Saturday. I am sure we will both do great but you know how big test are just nerve racking. We had dinner with John and Jen tonight, that was fun as usually. We had to do the big switch the lawn mower for the carpet cleaner (there I go again sounding old).

The weekend was good. I really enjoyed having a day off. I needed it although I probably did to much and that is why I am hurting and I am so tired today. I am looking forward to spring break. I know all the teachers and kids at school need the long break. I am not however looking forward to Geoff leaving again on April 14th. I seriously miss him and hate for him to be away. He told me a few days ago that his unit wanted him to go to Pathfinder school on July 17th. I feel really bad because I asked him not to go. I know that that school is hard to get and he may never get it again. I have never asked him not to do something Army related before. I mean don't get me wrong I have done my share of complaining about stuff he is doing but I have never flat out said don't do this. I only asked him not to because of Ellie. I am so afraid that I could not handle him being gone for 2 weeks a week after Ellie is born. I know that there will be times when I have to handle it all by myself but atleast that will be a few months into being a mom. I am scared enough of being a good mom that I don't think I can do it alone atleast not that soon. I know he understands and has been good about it but I also know he is disappointed. He wants to be here and there at the same time and that is just not possible. I guess when you have more than just the two of you, you must sacrfice some things you would other wise do. I think this was the right decision even if I feel guilty about it. Ellie and I need him and I not so sure we could do it without him. I hope he isn't too made at me.

Well thats enough for tonight.

New to this

Well, I felt left out. All my friends have blogs and they all read each others blogs. I guess it is my turn now. I am really not so sure that I have anything interesting to say, but hey I may suprise myself.

I guess I should start by introducing myself (is that what I am supposed to do? ) My name is Vanessa and I think I have a life as close to perfect as possible. I have the most wonderful husband Geoff that I can always count on and whom I love very much. I would do anything for him even if he doesn't always think so. I am 24 weeks pregnant with our first child. Its a girl! I am so excited I can't hardly wait for her to get here. We are going to name her Ellie Kate. I pray everyday for her safe delivery and health.
I have a great job with people who really care about me and some AWESOME friends. Through out this pregnancy they have all really been there for me. The doctor has put me on "restrictions" and I have been on bed rest a little. They have all been great, helping me and making sure I don't do to much.
Two of my friends, Pat and Mel, just had the cutest baby boy. Shay is such a cute baby, I only hope Ellie is half as cute and sweet as he is. They live next door and Mel and I plan to job share next year so we can have some time with our babies. I am really looking forward to job sharing, but I guess I have to get through this year first.
I am a teacher and I love my job. I teach 6th grade and I have some great kids this year. I teach special education (but not the type of kids you might think of when you hear that, mostly ADHD and minor learning disabilities). It is IEP season and that makes things a little stressful. IEP's are 9-10 page documents that we have to write on each of our kids that follow them to the next grade and decribe their disability. They are a great thing for the kids, but a pain in the butt for me. Yesterday I had my second IEP of 8 for the season. It went well. I love when I have understanding parents who care about their children.
Well one thing that you might notice about me is that I am always planning for the future. Sometimes I plan to much and I drive Geoff crazy. Lately, I have been trying to plan less because the other day I came to the realization that I am wishing Geoff, Ellie and my life away. I need to learn to live more in the moment and enjoy where I am now. I have been working on it, but I am not so sure I am doing such a great job with it yet.
Today was a great day. I went to work till noon (at the storage unit- my weekend job) and then spent the rest of the day with my hubby. I really enjoyed this because just last weekend he got back from a 13 day army school. I miss him so much when he is gone, I love having him home. We got new patio furniture today (Wow, that makes us sound old) anyway we are excited about enjoying some of this beautiful weather we have been having.

Well I guess thats enough for now, I never imagined I could think of that many things to write about. I guess we will see now if anyone else thinks it is interesting to read.